Wedding season is upon us and that means so many couples are about to start their “happily ever after”. Our anniversary month, my recently engaged friends and the emails I received this month inspired me to write about something my hubby and I went through in our relationship – love on the distance. Usually, when you ask people what they think of it, they stick to “It never works” phrase or “Oh, you are the luckiest – it must be so romantic!” So what is it like – to be in love with somebody who lives across the ocean (in our case)? Is it going to work? Is it even worth of trying?
You know it’s for you if you can deal with:
Distance. I want to be honest with you – it’s hard because the distance is extremely challenging. I’ve never heard anybody saying “I love distance”. You should be ready to put all the love you have into your phone instead because this is how you’ll have to express the feelings most of the time. I wish there was a manual for a long-distance relationship to avoid so many silly situations we had.
Time difference. You are lucky if your relationships do not have to depend on time difference because it is just another reason for “It’d never work” statement. It is very tricky to keep finding time to talk because when you have it – he sleeps and the other way around. Communication is important because the harm of just texting is always underestimated.
“Soap bubble” effect. This is my own definition of long-distance relationship. You are kind of in a relationship, but whenever you feel blue (happens pretty often), you question the importance of them in your life. It’s always easier to just give up and start dating somebody who would be next to you most of the time. I felt like my long-distance relationship was fragile like a soap bubble that was so close to bursting. You cannot hug your loved one, you cannot kiss, you spend Valentine’s Day in Skype, you celebrate an anniversary of your relationship on Facebook and at some point, you are like “Oh my, is it even real?”
Patience. The truth is: no matter how calm you used to be, you won’t be like that ever again. Be ready to have a lot of misunderstanding in a long-distance relationship, thoughts to give up and phrases like “whatever, I don’t care” when you care so much, but you just run out of patience. A lot of crying, yelling, and frustration. So many couples give up and I’d never blame them because I know what they are dealing with. It’s not like they don’t love each other or don’t have a proper level of trust, they just run out of patience for each other.
Wait. I feel like the wait is a bittersweet side of the relationship. At least this is my case. You wait and wait and right when you are ready to go crazy, you know that his plane is about to land. The same feeling my hubby had when it was my turn to fly. The gates are open and your heart stops (I still get goosebumps when I remember that feeling)). Literally. And this is when you get rewarded for all the dinners in front of your laptop. ;))
And if you go through all this:
Reward. If you wait, keep calm (as much if you can hehe) and you both work hard for this relationship to become more than one of the stories to tell, you get rewarded. You not only have an amazing life partner and a soulmate, you have a friend. The level of trust is unbelievable. This is when you succeed in the ability to listen and to be heard. This is when your fragile bubble becomes hard as a rock. No relationship is easy, but it’s worth of waiting and fighting for it. Also, according to the research made at City University of Hong Kong, people in long-distance relationships reported feeling emotionally closer to their partners than people in relationships with people who were literally – geographically – closer. We are all different, but both my hubby and I agree with the results of the research.
So how did we make it work?
I had a long discussion with my husband because I was sure that the reason was obvious – we took it easy, which was not completely true. Once we were into each other the best thing we could do is not to expect too much from each other. But it turned out that the main reason of our “happily ever after” was that we didn’t give up. Most importantly – both of us. A long-distance relationship is a risk, and if you decide to take it – you will be rewarded: whether with a lesson or the best adventure of your life!
Tips from amazing couples that succeeded in long-distance relationship:
Marco&Marina: Trust is the key. It is so important to build trust since the very beginning of your relationship, so no matter how many miles are between two of you, your relationship has a future as long as you trust each other.
Nick& Alina: Be patient and look into a big picture. It is difficult, but it pays off 😉
Sam&Julie: Together or in the distance – you are the team.
Alex&Diana: If you trust your other half, give each other freedom and fully enjoy every moment of the relationship – success is yours.
One thing we can tell: relationships are work! You are the ones who are responsible for its success or failure. You fall in love with a soul, you learn how to wait, listen and understand. You appreciate way more than you used to and break stereotypes. Just don’t give up: “Nothing worth having comes easy”.
I hope you enjoyed this post. What do you think about long-distance relationship?